At World's End: The Musical
by Willofthewisp
Summary: So many songs remind me of POTC, and so I'm using them! A feast for the eyes and ears, a rollicking rock opera starring our lovable rascals, using actual and tampered-with lyrics from Broadway's greatest musicals! W/E, J/E...even some N/E.
1. Scene 1

**Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: The Musical!**

**Starring:**

**The Cast of Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End: The Musical!****Scene 1: The gallows at Port Royal**

* * *

_(A long line of people stand shackled, waiting to be hanged.)_

**OFFICER:**

_(reads from proclamation)_

From the day we arrive on the planet

And blinking, step into the sun

Anyone who helps a pirate

Or so much looks at a pirate

Will be hanged until their life is done!

It's the Circle of Life

And it moves us all

Through despair and hope

Through faith and love

Till we find our place

To the noose all knotted

In the Circle, the Circle of Life

_(A young boy is brought to the gallows. He fingers his Piece of Eight as a barrel is brought for him to stand on. The executioner places the noose around his neck.)_

**BOY:**

One boy, I'm one special boy

One boy to go with

To talk with

To walk with

One boy, that's the way it should be

**CONDEMNED MAN NEXT TO HIM:**

Yeah.

**LINE OF SHACKLED PRISONERS:**

One day you'll find out

This is what life is all about

You'll need someone who

Is living just for you

**ALL:**

That's the way it should be….

_(The trapdoor opens underneath them. All are hanged.)_

**GROVES:**

Sir! Sir! The prisoners were singing!

_(Enter BECKETT. He is examining several Pieces of Eight. He looks like he means business.)_

**BECKETT:**

Finally.

* * *

**A/N: Do not own **_**The Lion King **_**or **_**Bye Bye Birdie **_**or POTC. I will only be naming the musicals I use. Part of the fun is knowing which song I'm using!**


	2. Scene 2

**Scene 2: The, uh, "canals" of Singapore**

_(Night time. We see a boat with a lone figure rowing her way under a bridge. It is ELIZABETH.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

One guy, one special guy

One guy to live for

To care for

Be there for…

**TAI HUANG: **

_(standing along the sidewalk as she docks her boat)_

One guy, that's the way it should be

_(speaking)_

A dangerous song to be singing, particularly for a woman, particularly for a woman alone.

**BARBOSSA:**

_(appears suddenly)_

What makes you think she's alone?

**TAI HUANG:**  
You protect her?

**ELIZABETH: **

_(jumps him and pulls a knife on him like a gangster)_

And what makes you think I need protecting?

**BARBOSSA:**

Your master's expectin' us. An unexpected death would cast a slight pall on our meeting.

_(ELIZABETH releases TAI HUANG and catches up with BARBOSSA.)_

**ELIZABETH: **

What do the simple folk do

To help them escape when they're blue?

Do they think about Will, does it make them quite glum?

Or about pills in which to fill their mouth, though that's dumb

**BARBOSSA:**

I trust Will to acquire the charts and for you to know your place

The simple folk find relief in a clever way

When they're sorely pressed, they whistle at a good pace

But whistling won't brighten up your day

If you cross Sao Feng

So they say

_(During a weapons search that rivals airport security checkpoints, ELIZABETH lays out several various guns, including a rather large one she pulls out of her…boot. We're going to go with "boot" here.)_

**CUT TO…SAO FENG'S Bathhouse **

_(Several men have fungi growing on their faces as they sit in different hot tubs.)_

**SAO FENG:**

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!  
Fremde, etranger, stranger.  
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,  
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay.

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome  
Im Singapore, au Singapore, to Singapore

_(Spoken)_

Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs,  
Ladies and Gentlemen! Guden Abend, bon soir,  
Wie geht's? Comment ca va? Do you feel good?  
I bet you do!  
Ich bin euer Confrecier; je suis votre compere...  
I understand you have a request to make of me

**BARBOSSA:**

I have a venture underway and find myself in need of a ship and a crew.

**SAO FENG: **

This is an odd coincidence.

**ELIZABETH: **

Because you happen to have a ship and a crew you don't need?

**SAO FENG:**

_(eyes ELIZABETH quite lustily)_

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!  
Fremde, etranger, stranger.  
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,  
Happy to see you,  
Bliebe, reste, stay!  
Wir sagen  
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome  
Im Cabaret, au Cabaret, to Cabaret

_(SAO FENG gestures to his MINONS. They reach into one of the hot tubs and pull out WILL, who is tied up with a log of sorts over his shoulders and behind his head.)_

**SAO FENG:**

This thief tried to make off with my navigational charts to the next world. Now then, you intend to journey to Davy Jones' Locker and I cannot help but wonder why.

**BARBOSSA:**

_(flips a Piece of Eight to SAO FENG)_

The time is near!

Let us welcome the brethren court with courage and cheer

Let us take to the streets with no doubt in our hearts

But a jubilant shout

The pirate lords must convene one and all

They will come when we call!

**ELIZABETH:**

Do you hear the pirates sing

Singing the song of angry men?

It is the music of some pirates

Who will not be slaves again!

**SAO FENG:**

_(cuts ELIZABETH off shortly)_

What is it you seek in Davy Jones' Locker?

**WILL:**

Jack Sparrow! He's one of the nine pirate lords!

_(Suddenly, the East India Trading Company bursts in and a great fight scene with lots of swords ensues, all to the stirring_ Do You Hear the People Sing. _WILL frees himself and catches a sword from ELIZABETH. He chases down SAO FENG. MERCER watches them as he kills one of SAO FENG's bath girls. She twitches one last time.)_

**WILL:**

_(pins SAO FENG up to the wall with his sword)_

In sleep he sang to me

In dreams he came

That voice which calls to me

And speaks my name

I need the Black Pearl, you see

To free my dad

My father of the Dutchman is there

Which is really bad

**SAO FENG:**

Sing once again with me

Our strange duet

To deal with Beckett I need

What you offer, yet

What a strange world this is

For pirates when…

Your father of the Dutchman is cursed

So we make deals again

_(WILL reunites with ELIZABETH and BARBOSSA and their crew casts off with one of SAO FENG's ships, consisting of TIA DALMA, GIBBS, MARTY, COTTON, PINTEL, and RAGETTI.)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Bye Bye Birdie**_**, **_**Camelot, Cabaret, Les Miserables, **_**or **_**The Phantom of the Opera**_**, but I do believe they will be showing up again.**


	3. Scene 3

**Scene 3: The **_**Flying Dutchman**_

_(BECKETT is at his desk, examining the Pieces of Eight. He whips out a handheld mirror and fluffs his wig. Smiling at himself, he starts applying mascara)_

**BECKETT:**

How lovely to be a woman,  
The wait was well worthwhile,  
How lovely to wear mascara,  
And smile a woman's smile.  
How lovely to have a figure  
That's round instead of flat,  
Whenever you hear boys whistle,  
You're what they're whistling at!

_(MERCER enters. BECKETT quickly puts away his mirror and makeup and clears his throat)_

**MERCER:**

Sir, there are nine Pieces of Eight!

**BECKETT:**

Fascinating.

**MERCER:**

Yes.

**BECKETT:**

Yes.

**MERCER:**

Quite.

**BECKETT:**

Quite.

_(NORRINGTON enters)_

**NORRINGTON:**

You summoned me, Lord Beckett?

**BECKETT:**

Yes. Something for you there. _(He gestures to a case on the table)_ Your new station deserves an old friend.

**NORRINGTON:**

_(opens the case to reveal his sword WILL made for him in the first movie. He is touched to see it again.)_

This is my friend

See how it glistens

See how it shines

How he smiles in the light

My friend

My faithful friend…

_(The rest of the song is sung in counterpoint with BECKETT and MERCER)_

**BECKETT:**

How wonderful to know  
The things a woman knows!  
How marvelous to wait  
For a date  
In simply beautiful clothes!  
How lovely to be a woman,  
And change from boys to men,  
And go to a fancy night club,  
And stay out after ten!  
How lovely to be so grown-up and free!  
Life's lovely when you're a woman like me!

**NORRINGTON:**

You there, my friend,  
Come, let me hold you.  
Now, with a sigh,  
You grow warm  
In my hand...  
My friend,  
My clever friend...

Rest now, my friends.  
Soon I'll unfold you.  
Soon you'll know splendors  
You never have dreamed  
All your days,  
My lucky friends.  
Till now your shine  
Was merely silver.  
Friends,  
You shall drip rubies,  
You'll soon drip precious  
Rubies...

_(sings ruefully, as if he is talking about his own blood on the sword)_

**MERCER:**

I'm your friend too, Lord Beckett  
If you only knew, Lord Beckett.  
Ooh, Lord Beckett,  
You're warm  
In my hand...  
You're so strong  
Always had a fondness for you,  
I did.

Never you fear, Lord Beckett.  
You can kiss me here, Lord Beckett  
Splendors  
You never have dreamed  
All your days  
Will be yours!  
I'm your friend,  
And you're mine!  
Don't they shine beautiful?  
Silver's good enough for me,  
Lord B...

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Bye Bye Birdie **_**or **_**Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.**_


	4. Scene 4

**Scene 4: On our heroes' ship**

_(They are sailing through a bitter, icy climate, glaciers all around them.)_

**PINTEL:**

_(shivers)_

No one said anything about cold.

**RAGETTI:**

There must be a good reason for our suffering.

**PINTEL:**

What's so bad about being in the Locker anyway? How bad could Davy Jones be?

**TIA DALMA:**

Attend the tale of Davy Jones

He was green and had a harsh tone

He enslaved the souls of gentlemen

Who never thereafter were heard of again

He trod a path few could condone

Did Davy Jones, the Captain of the Flying Dutchman

**RAGETTI:**

I knew there was a good reason…

* * *

**A/N: I do not own _Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street. _If you are curious about the particular songs used, a program will be provided during intermission.**


	5. Scene 5

**Scene 5: On the **_**Flying Dutchman**_

_(BECKETT and MERCER spot a shipwreck out in the distance. The ship is all bought destroyed and there are no survivors.)_

**BECKETT:**

Bloody hell, there's nothing left! Fetch the chest!

**MERCER:**

Yes, sir.

**BECKETT:**

I'm a girl, and by me that's only great!  
I am proud that my silhouette is curvy,  
That I walk with a sweet and girlish gait  
With my hips kind of swivelly and swervy.  
I adore being dressed in something frilly  
When my date comes to get me at my place.  
Out I go with my Joe or John or Billy,  
Like a filly who is ready for the race!  
When I have a brand new hairdo  
With my eyelashes all in curl,  
I float as the clouds on air do,  
I enjoy being a girl!

**DAVY JONES:**

I never asked for this  
Or planned it in advance  
I was merely blown here  
By the winds of chance  
I never saw myself  
As a Solomon or Socrates  
I knew who I was:  
One of your dime a dozen  
Mediocrities

**BECKETT:**

Mediocrities? We need prisoners to interrogate, which tends to work best when they're alive!

**DAVY JONES:**

No, we all deserve to die  
Tell you why, Cutler Beckett, tell you why.  
Because the lives of the wicked should be made brief  
For the rest of us death will be a relief  
We all deserve to die.  
And I'll never see Calypso  
No I'll never hug my girl to me - finished!

**BECKETT:**

Enough! You will sail as commanded!

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Flower Drum Song, Wicked, **_**or **_**Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.**_


	6. Scene 6

**Scene 6: On our heroes' ship**

_(They sail through perfectly calm waters, the stars reflecting so perfectly it looks like they are sailing through the night sky. ELIZABETH sits near the railing by herself.)_

**ELIZABETH: **

One boy,  
One certain boy,  
One boy to laugh with,  
And joke with,  
Have coke with.  
One boy,  
Not two or three.

**WILL:**

_(singing to himself, but about ELIZABETH)_

Why can't you behave?  
Oh, why can't you behave?  
After all the things you told me  
And the promises that you gave,  
Oh, why can't you behave?  
Why can't you be good?  
And do just as you should?  
Won't you turn that new leaf over  
So your baby can be your slave?  
Oh, why can't you behave?

_(ELIZABETH hears him and walks off, obviously troubled by his words. WILL sees a gigantic waterfall ahead of them.)_

**WILL:**

Barbossa! Ahead!

**BARBOSSA:**

I am reaching, but I fall  
And the night is closing in  
And I stare into the void  
To the whirlpool of my sin  
I'll escape now from the world  
From the world of Barbossa  
Hector Barbossa is nothing now  
Another story must begin!

_(EVERYONE is visibly freaked out by his insane singing and by the fact they are about to go over the edge. We hear only their screams as they plummet.)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Bye Bye Birdie, Kiss Me Kate, **_**or **_**Les Miserables.**_


	7. Scene 7

**Scene 7: Davy Jones' Locker**

_(We see the deck of the Black Pearl. JACK shoots one of his imaginary doppelgangers who was trying to eat a peanut. He blows on the smoke emitting from his pistol.)_

**JACK:**

All hands, slackened braces!

**REPLICA JACK:**

Aye!

**SECOND REPLICA JACK:**

Help!

**THIRD REPLICA JACK:**

Haul the sheets sensibly, boys!

**JACK: **

Someone to care for; to be there for.  
I have them three!  
Someone to do for; muddle through for.  
I have them three!  
What's more we four  
Get along enormously cause  
Them three  
Have me  
An' that's what's us four's for!

_(He stops singing when he sees THIRD REPLICA JACK. He approaches him very angrily.)_

**JACK:**  
What say you about the condition of this tack line?

**THIRD REPLICA JACK:**

It be proper to my eyes, sir.

**JACK:**  
Proper? It is neither proper nor suitable, sir. It is neither acceptable nor adequate. It is in obvious fact, an abomination.

**THIRD REPLICA JACK:**

Beggin' your pardon, sir, but perhaps if you gave a man another chance…

**JACK:**

Shall I?

_(He runs his sword through him) _That sort of thinking got us into this mess. _(He addresses the other two) _Gentlemen, we have lost speed and therefore, time, precious time, which cannot be regained once lost. Do you understand?

**SECOND REPLICA JACK:**

Aye!

**JACK:**

Someone to care for; to be there for.  
I have You two!  
Someone to do for; muddle through for.  
I have You two!  
Someone to share joy or despair with;  
whichever betides you.  
Life becomes a chore, unless you're living for  
someone to tend to be a friend to.  
I have You two!  
Someone to strive for, do or die for  
I have You two!  
Could be, we three get along so famously,  
'cause you two have me, and I have You two too.

**REPLICA JACK:**

Aye, that ye do, sir!

_(JACK shoots him, then sighs and shoots SECOND REPLICA JACK. He then looks around and sees he is all alone.)_

**JACK:**

One  
Singular sensation  
Ev'ry little step I take.  
One  
Thrilling combination  
Ev'ry move that I make.  
One smile and suddenly nobody else will do.  
You know you'll never be lonely  
With you-know-who.  
One moment in my presence  
And you can forget the rest,  
For the Captain is second best to none, son.  
Ooh! Sigh! Give me your attention.  
Do I really have to mention  
I'm the one?

_(All of a sudden, several crabs have scuttled underneath the Black Pearl and are making it move on its own. JACK seems very puzzled but also elated.)_

**JACK:**

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
We love you.  
And, in  
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
What we'll do.  
Square or hip, in our ship, oh what a happy time we'll spend.  
Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
Our fine one-masted friend.  
Bang Bang Chitty Chitty Bang Bang  
Our fine one-masted friend.

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Chitty Chitty Bang Bang **_**or **_**A Chorus Line.**_


	8. Scene 8

**Scene 8: Davy Jones' Locker**

_(EVERYONE washes up onto the beach of the Locker. They look around for JACK.)_

**ALL:**

The real world was having trouble  
What a sad, sad story  
Needed a new leader to restore  
Its former glory  
Where, oh, where was he?  
Where could that man be?  
We looked around and then we found  
The man for you and me.

_(They see the Black Pearl approaching with Jack atop the mast, much like his entrance in the first film. EVERYONE runs over to him. ELIZABETH starts to, but holds back after glancing WILL out of the corner of her eye.)_

**GIBBS:**

And now it's...  
Springtime for pirates and Shipwreck Cove!  
All of us are happy and gay!  
We're marching to a faster pace  
Look out, here comes the roguish race!  
Springtime for pirates and Shipwreck Cove!  
The sea's full of glee once more!  
Springtime for pirates and Shipwreck Cove!  
Watch out, Beckett  
We're going on tour!

**JACK:**

Mr. Gibbs, there has been a perpetual and virulent lack of discipline aboard my vessel! Why is that, sir?

**GIBBS:**

You're in Davy Jones' Locker, Captain.

**JACK:**

I know that! I know where I am! And don't think I don't!

**BARBOSSA:**

Jack Sparrow.

**JACK:**

Ah, Hector! It's been too long, hasn't it?

**BARBOSSA:**

Isla de Muerta, remember? You shot me.

**JACK:**

Ha ha, no I didn't. Ah, Tia Dalma, out and about, eh? You lend an agreeable sense of the macabre to any delirium.

**WILL:**

He thinks we're a hallucination.

**JACK: **

William, tell me something—have you come because you need my help to rescue a certain distressing damsel, or rather a damsel in distress? Either one?

**WILL:**

No.

**JACK:**

Then you wouldn't be here, so you can't be here. Q. E. D., you're not really here.

**ELIZABETH:**  
Jack. This is real. We're here.

_(JACK locks eyes with her as if he's jogging his memory. Suddenly, he knows exactly who he's looking at and runs as far from her as possible.)_

**GIBBS:**

Whow, Jack, what happened?

_(A musical intro comes out of nowhere. EVERYONE gets into position.)_

**JACK:**

Black Pearl lovin' had me a blast

**ELIZABETH:**

Black Pearl lovin' happened too fast

**JACK:**

Had a girl crazy for me

**ELIZABETH**

Knew a guy, Crude as could be.

**JACK and ELIZABETH:**

Black Pearl days driftin' away

To uh, oh, those Black Pearl nights.

**WILL:**  
Tell me more, tell me more

Did you get very far?

**TIA DALMA:**

Tell me more, tell me more

Was the sex just sub-par?

**JACK:**  
Tried to kiss me, said I was a good man

**ELIZABETH:**

Lied to me when he said he had a plan

**JACK:**

I saved your life! You nearly drowned!

**ELIZABETH: **

Such a man-whore, sleeping around!

**JACK and ELIZABETH:**

Black Pearl sun, something's begun

But uh, oh, those Black Pearl nights

**PINTEL:**

Tell me more, tell me more

Is she a good reward?

**BARBOSSA:**

Tell me more, tell me more

So can she handle a sword?

**ELIZABETH:**

Now we're here, we found the guy

**JACK:**

No, you kissed me and left me to die

**ALL:**

Black Pearl dreams ripped at the seams

But oh, those Black Pearl nights!

_(The spotlight dims and the musical changes tone quite dramatically.)_

**BARBOSSA**  
Whatever Barbossa wants  
Barbossa gets  
And little man, Barbossa wants you  
Make up your mind to have no regrets  
If Beckett takes over the seas, you're through  
The brethren court song's been sung  
And you're the one I came for

Whatever Barbossa wants  
Barbossa gets,  
Get in MY ship  
Don't you know you can't win?  
You're no exception to the rule,  
I've got the charts to get us back…Give in!...Give in!

_(JACK opens his compass, the arrow spinning wildly. He looks up at his "crew," sighs, and joins them.)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**The Producers, Grease, **_**or **_**Damn Yankees.**_


	9. Scene 9

**Scene 9: Below decks on the Black Pearl**

_(ELIZABETH sits alone in the hull, holding herself and shaking.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

I don't know how to love him

What to do, how to move him?

**WILL:**

_(Spoken)_

You left Jack to the kraken.

**ELIZABETH:**

He's rescued now. It's done with.

_(She stands to face him, but he rebuffs her)_

Will, I had no choice!

**WILL:**

You close every door to me

Hide all your world from me

Barred all the windows

And shut out the light

You do what you want with me…

**ELIZABETH:**

…In these past few days

When I see myself

I seem like someone else…

**WILL:**

…Hate me and laugh at me

Darken my daytime

And torture my night

_(Spoken)_

If you make all your decisions alone, how can I trust you?

**ELIZABETH:**

You can't.

_(ELIZABETH ascends to the upper deck. It is dark out. She moves past TIA DALMA, who is holding her locket.)_

**TIA DALMA: **

I don't know how to love him

What to do, how to move him?

I've been changed

Yes really changed

**TIA DALMA and ELIZABETH:**

In these past few days

When I see myself

I seem like someone else

**TIA DALMA:**

I don't know how to take this

I don't see why he moves me

He's a man

He's just a man

And I've had so many men before

In very many ways

He's just one more

Should I bring him down?

**ELIZABETH:**  
Should I scream and shout?

Should I speak of love?

Let my feelings out?

I'd never thought I'd come to this

What's it all about?

**TIA DALMA and ELIZABETH:**

Don't you think it's rather funny

I should be in this position?

I'm the one who's always been

So calm, so cool, no lover's fool

Running every show

He scares me so…

_(They stop singing suddenly at the sight of the dead in small boats moving in the opposite direction as the Black Pearl. EVERYONE has gathered near the railing to watch.)_

**TIA DALMA:**

They should be in the care of Davy Jones.

**WILL:**

Are they a threat to us?

**TIA DALMA:**

We are but ghosts to them.

**ELIZABETH:**

It's my father! We've made it back! Father, look here!

**JACK:**

Elizabeth, we're not back.

**ELIZABETH: **

_(singing out to GOVERNOR SWANN)_

Papa? Papa, I do not understand.

Are you all right?

Since I've gone away?

**SWANN:**

Elizabeth, my child! Are you dead?

**ELIZABETH: **

No!

**SWANN:**

I think I am. I'm so proud of you, Elizabeth. I learned that if you stab the heart, yours must take its place, sailing the seas forever. The captain of the Flying Dutchman must always have a captain.

**ELIZABETH: **

Father, no! Someone cast a line!

**SWANN:**

Now you are here

Again beside me

Now I can die in peace

For now my life is blessed

**ELIZABETH:**

You will live

Papa, you're going to live!

It's too soon

Too soon to say goodbye

_(SWANN crosses off-stage, now part of the afterlife. ELIZABETH falls to her knees sobbing in the middle of the deck.)_

**CHORUS OF THE DEAD:**

Hey Elizabeth, don't be so upset  
Hey Elizabeth, you're not beaten yet  
Go, go, go Elizabeth you know what they say  
Hang on now Elizabeth you'll make it some day  
Don't give up Elizabeth fight till you drop  
We've read the book and you come at on top

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go Elizabeth you know what they say  
Hang on now Elizabeth you'll make it some day  
Sha la la Elizabeth you're still in your prime  
You and your pirate self are ahead of your time

**ELIZABETH:**

I dreamed a dream in time gone by

When hope was high and life worth living

I dreamed that love would never die

I dreamed that God would be forgiving…

I had a dream my life would be

So different from this hell I'm living

So different now from what it seemed

Now life has killed the dream I dreamed

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Jesus Christ: Superstar, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, **_**or _Les Miserables. _I apologize for the wacky spacing. I'm not a computer/formatting wizard. As long as it's easy on all your eyes, I'm not too concerned. Please let me know if it is hard to follow in any way. This was a downer chapter so the next one is going to be more fun. Promise!**


	10. Scene 10

**Scene 10: The deck of the Black Pearl**

_(EVERYONE looks pretty irritable, not to mention hungry and thirsty. JACK is studying the charts.)_

**JACK:**

There again I've more to do

Than simply get the message through

I haven't started

Let's get this show on the road

What's this chart say?

"Up is down…" and that just sucks…

**CHORUS OF LITTLE REPLICA JACKS:**

Kohl, scars, tattoos, bandana

Stab the heart and live forever

Hands, magic, rings, glamour

Sword, pistol, boots, beads

**JACK:**

If I stab the heart, then the dead will adore me

But no whore will do me, docking only every ten years

It must be thought out, the choice has to be Rainbow High

Whores must have excitement and so must I

_(Spoken)_

Come sunset it won't matter. Not sunset. Sun…down…and rise. Up is down. Up is down! What is that? _(runs to the port side of the ship) _What IS that? I don't know. What do you think? _(runs to the starboard side)_

**PINTEL:**

He's rocking the ship!

**RAGETTI:**

He's rocking the ship!

**GIBBS:**  
He's rocking the ship!

**BARBOSSA:**

Aye, he's onto it!

_(EVERYONE joins in rocking the ship, to a catchy tune, of course.)_

**EVERYONE: **

It's astounding, time is fleeting  
Madness takes its toll  
But listen closely, not for very much longer  
I've got to keep control

I remember doing the Ship Rock  
Drinking those moments when  
The blackness would hit me and the void would be calling  
Let's do the ship rock again...  
Let's do the ship rock again!

It's just a jump to the left  
And then a step to the right  
With your hands on your hips  
You bring your knees in tight  
But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane,  
Let's do the ship rock again!

_(The ship capsizes and then magically turns back over into the real world, just in time for a sunrise.)_

**GIBBS:**

Blessed sweet westerlies! We're back!

_(JACK, WILL, BARBOSSA, and ELIZABETH draw their pistols at the same time and point them at one another, making a daisy chain of gun barrels. They start to laugh and lower their weapons, but then bring them back up to their original positions.)_

**BARBOSSA:**

Goodnight and thank you, Jack

We're gathering up the court

Make no plans to abort. You'll be going.

We don't like to rush but your case has been packed.

If you have things to sort, we'll soon make port

But your loyalties had better be growing.

**JACK:**

Oh but it's sad when I argue the point

But my ship's not going that way

It's best that we all stop fooling ourselves

**BARBOSSA: **

Which means…

**BARBOSSA and JACK:**

There is no pirate, no pirate at all

Never has been and never will be a pirate, male or female

Who gladly would fight, for profit or spite

The East India Trading Company

**WILL:**

Goodnight and thank you, Jack

Whether fighter or not

Your body will rot before I let you go

You'll be taking this ship to Shipwreck Cove

And that will be all, if I need more I'll call

But I don't think that's likely somehow.

**JACK: **

Oh but it's sad when I argue the point

But my ship's not going that way

It's best that we all stop fooling ourselves

**ELIZABETH:**

Which means…

**JACK, BARBOSSA, WILL, and ELIZABETH:**

There is no pirate, no pirate at all

Never has been and never will be a pirate, male or female

Who gladly would fight, for profit or spite

The East India Trading…

_(The song cuts off as they begin shooting each other, but the wet powder renders all their shots ineffective. WILL breaks from the daisy chain and unrolls the charts. There is an instrumental version of "Goodnight and Thank You" as JACK and BARBOSSA lead a supply party to a nearby island consisting of PINTEL, RAGETTI, TAI HUANG, and a few extras. We see them approach a massive black object only to learn it is the corpse of the KRAKEN)_

**PINTEL and RAGETTI:**

A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain  
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.  
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--  
Waiting to sail your worries away.  
It isn't far to Hushabye Mountain  
And your boat waits down by the key.  
The winds of night so softly are sighing--  
Soon they will fly your troubles to sea.  
So close your eyes on Hushabye Mountain.  
Wave good-bye to cares of the day.  
And watch your boat from Hushabye Mountain  
Sail far away from lullaby bay.

_(PINTEL and RAGETTI repeat the song very quietly, JACK and BARBOSSA's spoken parts the loudest parts)_

**BARBOSSA:**

Beckett must have ordered it killed. Still thinkin' of running, Jack? Think you can outrun the world? Ye know, the problem with being the last of anything is, by and by, there be none left at all. There's never a guarantee of coming back, but passing on, that's dead certain.

**JACK:**

Summoning the brethren court then, is it?

**BARBOSSA:**

It's our only hope, lad.

**JACK:**

That's a sad commentary in and of itself.

**BARBOSSA:**

The world used to be a bigger place.

**JACK:**

The world's still the same. There's just less in it.

_(Suddenly, SAO FENG's ship pulls up next to the Black Pearl. TAI HUANG and his men turn on JACK, BARBOSSA, PINTEL, and RAGETTI)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Evita **_**or **_**The Rocky Horror Picture Show **_**or **_**Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. **_**  
**


	11. Scene 11

**Scene 11: The deck of the Black Pearl**

_(TAI HUANG leads JACK, BARBOSSA, PINTEL, and RAGETTI up on deck where ELIZABETH, GIBBS, COTTON, and MARTY have been restrained. WILL is nearby, oddly not restrained. SAO FENG gloats over the goings-on)_

**SAO FENG:**

I'm the greatest villain of all time!  
Who is Blue Beard?

**SAO FENG'S MEN:**

Nobody!

**SAO FENG:**

Who is Jack the Ripper?

**SAO FENG'S MEN:**

Nobody!

**SAO FENG:**

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Who's the swiniest swine in the world?

**SAO FENG'S MEN:**

Sao Feng! Sao Feng!

**SAO FENG:**

Who's the dirtiest dog in this wonderful world?

**SAO FENG'S MEN:**

Sao Feng! Sao Feng!

**SAO FENG:**

Captain of villainy

Madder and loot lout

Eager to kill any

Who says that my bald head isn't cute!

**SAO FENG'S MEN:**

It's cute!

**WILL:**

Wait! Release Elizabeth! She's not part of any bargain.

**SAO FENG:**

You heard Captain Turner.

_(EVERYONE gasps and whispers about WILL'S new title)_

**GIBBS:**

Perfidious rotter led a mutiny against us!

**ELIZABETH:**

Why didn't you tell me you were planning this?

_(Musical cue starts)_

**WILL:**

I'm rebelling.

**JACK, ELIZABETH, and BARBOSSA:**

Rebelling, rebelling, rebelling

**WILL:**

Look at me, one tough shit

Suddenly I'm a badass git

I'm rebellllllling

I'm rebelling.

**JACK, ELIZABETH, and BARBOSSA:**

Rebelling, rebelling, rebelling

**WILL: **

I need the Pearl to free my dad

That's why I came, you've all been had

I'm rebellllllling

_(SAO FENG cuts in and grabs JACK. He takes him down stage, in front of a scrim, and leaves him there. In front of the scrim is the Endeavor. Behind it is the Pearl. The scenes are juxtaposed. JACK looks around the little office on the Endeavor. Suddenly, BECKETT appears from behind a screen.)_

**BECKETT:**

The heart's not here,  
(The heart's not here)  
I'd sell you out to Davy Jones  
(I'd sell you out to Davy Jones)  
Unless you give me what I want  
(Unless you give me what I want)  
Cuz right now your soul's on loan  
(Cuz right now your soul's on loan)  
I want to know  
Who are the pirate lords and what their Pieces of Eight mean to me  
I'll never then betray you, betray you, betray you

Not me!  
Not I,  
Not me!  
Not me!

_(The attention goes back to the Pearl, where MERCER has taken the Pearl from SAO FENG)_

**MERCER:**

Who's the slimiest rat in the pack?

**MERCER'S MEN:**

Mr. Mercer! Mr. Mercer!

**MERCER:**

Who's un-laughable?

**MERCER'S MEN:**

You!

**MERCER:**

Who's un-liftable?

**MERCER'S MEN:**

You!

**SAO FENG:**

Who would stoop to the cheapest and lowest

Of tricks in the book?

**BARBOSSA:**

That guy!

_(Spoken)_

It's a shame they're not bound to honor the Code, isn't it? Lord Beckett will never give up the only ship that can outrun the Dutchman.

**SAO FENG:**

They have the Dutchman and now the Pearl! There is no honor in remaining with the losing side. What do we have?

**BARBOSSA: **

We have Calypso, bound in human form. I intend to release her, but for that I need the brethren court, all of them.

_(The focus returns to the Endeavor)_

**JACK:**

_(Spoken)_

You can keep Barbossa, the belligerent homunculus and his friend with the wooden eye, both, and Turner, especially Turner. The rest go with me aboard the Pearl and I will lead you to Shipwreck Cove, where I will hand you the pirates and you will NOT hand me to Jones. Bloody fair deal, don't you think?

**BECKETT:**

And what becomes of Miss Swann?

_(The focus returns to the Pearl)_

**SAO FENG:**

What are you proposing, Captain?

**BARBOSSA:**

What be accepted, Captain?

**SAO FENG:**

The girl.

**ELIZABETH:**

What?

**BARBOSSA:**

Out of the question.

**SAO FENG:**

It was not a question.

_(The focus returns to the Endeavor)_

**BECKETT:**

I have a device that shows what I want,  
And gives me what I plan.  
It could show how to win a fight,  
Or how to get more height.  
Compass Compass Land.

**JACK:**

It will not point to Shipwreck Cove,  
Holding it where you stand.  
It's gonna point to me  
For me dead's what you want to see  
Compass Compass Land.

_(The focus returns to the Black Pearl)_

**ELIZABETH:**

Done.

**WILL:**

No! Elizabeth, they're pirates!

**ELIZABETH:**  
You'll need lots of food  
Lots of water  
Lots of booze  
But hush hush hush hush hush...  
Let's be quiet as a mouse  
Now build a lovely little house  
For Lizzie  
Oh for Lizzie  
She's come to stay

**SAO FENG:**

We have a goddess!

At last we have a goddess!

**ELIZABETH:**

I'll be waiting at the door  
Won't be pushed around anymore  
Since Lizzie  
Lovely Lizzie's here to stay

_(Focus shifts back to the Endeavor)_

**JACK:**

With me killed, you'd arrive at Shipwreck Cove, find its stronghold nigh impregnable, able to withstand blockade for years, and then you'd wish, "Oh if only there were someone I had not killed inside to assure that the pirates come outside…"

**BECKETT:**

And you can accomplish all this?

**JACK:**  
Who am I?

_(BECKETT shrugs)_

**JACK:**

I'm Captain Jack Sparrow!

_(The sound of a cannonball echoes through the Endeavor. JACK takes advantage of the opportunity and shoots himself back to the Pearl. At the same time, WILL is carried off to the Pearl's brig and ELIZABETH is carried off by SAO FENG)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own the musical **_**Peter Pan**_**, from which every song in this scene is taken**_**. **_**  
**


	12. Scene 12

**Scene 12: Below decks of the Empress, SAO FENG'S ship**

_(ELIZABETH is now dressed up in traditional Singaporean garb. SAO FENG enters in just a robe, open enough to expose his chest.)_

**SAO FENG:**

Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome!  
Fremde, etranger, stranger.  
Gluklich zu sehen, je suis enchante,  
Happy to see you, bleibe, reste, stay.  
Willkommen, bienvenue, welcome  
To the Empress, to the Empress, to the Empress

_(Spoken)_

Meine Damen und Herren, Mesdames et Messieurs,  
Ladies and Gentlemen! Guden Abend, bon soir,  
Wie geht's? Comment ca va? Do you feel good?  
I bet you do!  
Ich bin euer Confrecier; je suis votre compere...  
You will be free, Calypso

**ELIZABETH**

Calypso?

_(She catches on just as the music starts)_

Got a little motto  
Always sees me through  
When you're good to Calypso  
Calypso's good to you!

There's a lot of favors  
I'm prepared to do  
You do one for Calypso  
She'll do one for you

They say that life is tit for tat  
And that's the way I live  
So, I deserve a lot of tat  
For what I've got to give  
Don't you know that this hand  
Washes that one too  
When you're good to Calypso  
Calypso's good to you!

_(SAO FENG grabs ELIZABETH and kisses her. She shoves him away and a cannon ball bursts through the side of the ship, sending splintered wood everywhere, and a large piece of wood skewers SAO FENG)_

**ELIZABETH:**

Sao Feng?

**SAO FENG:**

Here. Please. _(waits for ELIZABETH to come over to him. He removes his Piece of Eight.) _With all nine pieces, you will be free. Take it. You are captain now. Go to Shipwreck Cove in my place.

**ELIZABETH:**

Me?

**SAO FENG:**

Auf wiedersehen!  
A bientot!  
Good night…

_(dies)_

_(TAI HUANG enters)_

**TAI HUANG:**

What did he tell you?

_(ELIZABETH stands and clenches the Piece of Eight in her fist.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

I am the very model of a modern Major-General

I've information vegetable, animal, and mineral

I know the kings of England, and I quote the fights historical

From Marathon to Waterloo, in order categorical

I'm very well acquainted, too, with matters mathematical

I understand equations, both the simple and quadratical

About binomial theorem I'm teeming with a lot o' news

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

**CHORUS OF ELIZABETH'S MEN:**

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

With many cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse

**ELIZABETH:**

I'm very good at integral and differential calculus

I know the scientific names of beings animalculous

In short, in matters vegetable, animal, and mineral

I am the very model of a modern Major-General

_(TAI HUANG broods)_

**

* * *

**

**A/N: I do not own **_**Cabaret, Chicago, **_**or **_**The Pirates of Penzance. **_**  
**


	13. Scene 13

**Scene 13: On deck of the Flying Dutchman**

_(ELIZABETH, TAI HUANG, and her MEN have been captured. NORRINGTON sees them.)_

**TAI HUANG:**

You are not my captain!

**NORRINGTON:**

Elizabeth!

**ELIZABETH:**

James!

_(NORRINGTON and ELIZABETH run to each other and hug.)_

**NORRINGTON:**

Thank God you're alive! Your father will be overjoyed to know you're safe!

**ELIZABETH:**

He's dead.

**NORRINGTON:**

No, that can't be true…he returned to England…

**ELIZABETH:**

Is that what Lord Beckett told you?

**DAVY JONES:**

Who among you do you name as captain?

_(ELIZABETH'S MEN point to ELIZABETH. EVERYONE looks astonished.)_

**NORRINGTON:**

You are captain going on pirate lord  
Baby, it's time to think  
Better beware be canny and careful  
Baby, you're on the brink  
You are captain going on pirate lord  
Fellows will fall in line  
Eager young lads and rogues and cads  
Will offer you food and wine  
Totally unprepared are you to face a world of men  
Timid and shy and scared are you  
Of things beyond your ken  
You need someone older and wiser  
Telling you what to do  
I am admiral going on lordship  
I'll take care of you.

**DAVY JONES:**

The hills are alive  
With the sound of bullshit  
With songs they have sung,  
For a thousand years.  
The hills fill my heart,  
With the sound of music.  
My heart wants to cry every time it hears.

**  
ELIZABETH:**

I am captain going on pirate lord  
Go on and give me a cheer  
I'll stay with my crew so I do not rue  
Any choices I make while here  
I am captain going on pirate lord  
It's quite a man's world here  
Bachelors, dandies, drinkers of brandies  
I've seen 'em all, year after year!  
Totally unprepared was I  
To know you're such a jerk  
Timid and shy and scared am I  
That now you've gone berserk!  
I need someone older and wiser  
Being my ideal guy  
You are admiral going on lordship  
You can just go fry

_(ELIZABETH and her MEN end up in the brig. She searches around for BOOTSTRAP BILL.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

Bootstrap? Bootstrap? Bill Turner?

**BOOTSTRAP**

Na na na na  
Na na na na yeah  
You are the memory in me

**ELIZABETH:**

You know the words Once Upon A Time  
Make you listen.  
There's a reason.

**BOOTSTRAP and ELIZABETH:**  
When you dream there's a chance you'll find  
A little laughter or a happy ever after

**ELIZABETH:**  
I know your son Will. He wants to help you.  
He wants to help. That's what he said.

**BOOTSTRAP:**  
He won't come.  
Won't come.  
He'll lose you

**BOOTSTRAP and ELIZABETH:**  
And like a common thread…

_(BOOTSTRAP positions himself within the bulkhead of the ship, shaking his head.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

Bootstrap?

**BOOTSTRAP:**

Na na na na  
Na na na na yeah  
You are the memory in me

Will is the memory in me…

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**The Sound of Music **_**or **_**High School Musical. **_**In fact, I kind of feel like I've dirtied my soul for having included the latter at all.**


	14. Scene 14

**Scene 14: On the deck of the Black Pearl**

_(WILL ties a body onto a barrel near the bow of the ship and knocks it into the water. He is leaving a breadcrumb trail for the Endeavor to follow.)_

**JACK:**

Bravo. You escaped the brig even quicker than I expected.

_(WILL looks startled and places his hand on his sword.)_

**JACK:**

William, do you notice something? Or rather, do you notice something that is not there to be noticed?

**WILL:**

You haven't raised an alarm.

**JACK:**  
So you are leading Beckett to Shipwreck Cove so as to gain his trust and accomplish your own ends.

_(WILL goes back to his "work," obviously frustrated and upset)_

**JACK:**  
How does your dearly beloved feel about this?

**WILL:**

She's mysterious

And imperious

She kisses other guys

A pirate under that façade

A devil in disguise

I should just break it off with her

And sever all our ties

But I still think I love her in spite of all those lies

Elizabeth's not an asset to our marriage…

**WILL and JACK:**

How do you solve a problem like Elizabeth?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

How do you find a word that means Elizabeth?

A flibber-tee-gibbet

A willofthewisp (hey that's the author's name!)

A clown!

Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her

Many a thing she ought to understand

But why do we have her stay

And listen to all we say?

How do you keep a wave upon the sand?

Oh how do you solve a problem like Elizabeth?

How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

_(Right in the middle of their big finish, JACK shoves WILL off the ship, throws a barrel down for him, and throws his compass to him.)_

**JACK:**

My regards to Davy Jones!

**WILL:**

I hate him!

**

* * *

****A/N: I do not own **_**The Sound of Music.**_


	15. Scene 15

**Scene 15: On the Flying Dutchman**

_(NORRINGTON unlocks the door to the brig.)_

**NORRINGTON:**

Come with me. Quickly!

**ELIZABETH:**

Where?

**NORRINGTON:**

There's a place for us

Somewhere a place for us

Peace and quiet and open air

Wait for us

Somewhere…

_(ELIZABETH and her MEN exit their cell and cross around to the back of the ship. The Flying Dutchman is pulling the Empress by several ropes. Her MEN climb across them back onto the Empress.)_

**NORRINGTON:**

Don't go to Shipwreck Cove

You'll die in Shipwreck Cove

There's a traitor among you

Do not go

Whatever you do

**ELIZABETH:**

Someday

Somewhere

I might learn to forgive you

But I think I might just outlive you

Somewhere…

**NORRINGTON:**

I had nothing to do with your father's death! That doesn't absolve me of my other sins.

**ELIZABETH:**

There's a place for us

A time and place for us

Climb over with me and we're halfway there

Just come with me and I'll take you there…

**BOOTSTRAP:**

Who goes there?

**NORRINGTON:**

Somehow

Someday

Somewhere

_(NORRINGTON kisses her passionately. ELIZABETH starts to climb back to the Empress. BOOTSTRAP appears, sword in hand. NORRINGTON shoots ELIZABETH'S rope which detaches from the Flying Dutchman, sending her into the water.)_

**NORRINGTON:**

Back to your station, sailor!

**BOOTSTRAP:**

Patty cake, patty cake

Baker's man

Bake me a cake, no, no…

Bake me a pie, to delight my eye

Bat him and prick him

And mark him with a B

And put him in the oven for baby

And me

_(BOOTSTRAP rams his sword in NORRINGTON'S chest.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

James! No! No!

_(DAVY JONES and his MEN appear. They do not see ELIZABETH.)_

**NORRINGTON:**

There was an admiral and his love,  
And she was beautiful  
A foolish admiral and his love,  
She was his reason but not enough  
And she was beautiful,  
And she was virtuous,  
And he was…

**DAVY JONES:**

James Norrington, do you fear death?

_(NORRINGTON stabs DAVY JONES, then falls still.)_

**DAVY JONES:**

I'll take that as a no. _(pries the sword out of his chest)_ Nice sword.

_(MERCER appears out of nowhere)_

**MERCER:**

The Flying Dutchman is under my command.

**DAVY JONES:**

For now.

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**West Side Story **_**or **_**Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.**_


	16. Scene 16

**Scene 16: On the Black Pearl**

_(Strangely, no one seems to care where WILL'S disappeared to, but they are docking at Shipwreck Cove, so there are bigger fish to fry. GIBBS approaches TIA DALMA.)_

**GIBBS:**

Ma chere, Mademoiselle

It is with deepest pride and greatest pleasure

That we welcome you tonight

And now we invite you to relax, step on down to our brig

As the pirates proudly present…

Shipwreck Cove

Shipwreck Cove! Shipwreck Cove!

Where the pirates come in droves.

Inside Shipwreck Island, Cherie

Unbeknownst to Mr. Groves

We'll free you here

That's why Barbossa's back

'Tho we didn't care, just wanted Jack

Try some rum

It's delicious

Don't believe me?

Ask the bitches!

Here they sing! Here they dance!

You would think, Miss, you're in France!

Yes we've hit upon a wondrous treasure trove

Go on, get locked up

You'll be good and blocked up in

Shipwreck Cove! Shipwreck Cove! Shipwreck Cove!

_(JACK, BARBOSSA, PINTEL, and RAGETTI just applaud him as they lead TIA DALMA to the brig.)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Beauty and the Beast.**_


	17. Intermission

**INTERMISSION**

**Please feel free to use the restroom, smoke outside, talk to your friends about the show, or skim this program. Act 2's summary will be posted near the end. Posting it now would just be giving away one too many spoilers. **

**Act 1**

Circle of Life (Officer)

One Boy (Boy, Chorus)

One Boy (again)(Elizabeth and Tai Huang)

What Do the Simple Folk Do (Elizabeth and Barbossa)

Willkommen (Sao Feng)

Do You Hear the People Sing (Barbossa and Elizabeth)

The Phantom of the Opera (Will and Sao Feng)

How Lovely to be a Woman (Beckett)

My Friends (Norrington and Mercer)

The Ballad of Sweeney Todd (Tia Dalma)

I Enjoy Being a Girl (Beckett)

Wonderful (Davy Jones)

Epiphany (Davy Jones)

One Boy (again)(Elizabeth)

Why Can't You Behave (Will)

What Have I Done (Barbossa)

Them Three (Jack)

You Two (Jack)

One (Jack)

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (Jack)

Springtime for Hitler (Gibbs and Cast)

Summer Nights (Jack, Elizabeth, and Cast)

Whatever Lola Wants (Barbossa)

I Don't Know How to Love Him (Elizabeth and Tia Dalma)

Close Every Door (Will)

Finale of Les Miserables (Elizabeth and Governor Swann)

Go Go Joseph (Chorus)

I Dreamed a Dream (Elizabeth)

Rainbow High (Jack)

The Time Warp (Cast)

Goodnight and Thank You (Barbossa, Jack, Will, and Elizabeth)

Hushabye Mountain (Pintel and Ragetti)

Captain Hook's Waltz (Sao Feng, Mercer, and Chorus)

I'm Flying (Will, Jack, Elizabeth, and Barbossa)

I Won't Grow Up (Beckett)

Neverland (Beckett and Jack)

Wendy (Elizabeth and Sao Feng)

Willkommen (again)(Sao Feng)

When You're Good to Mama (Elizabeth)

Modern Major General (Elizabeth and Chorus)

Sixteen Going on Seventeen (Norrington and Elizabeth)

The Sound of Music (Davy Jones)

The Music in Me (Elizabeth and Bootstrap Bill)

How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria (Will and Jack)

Somewhere (Norrington and Elizabeth)

Final Sequence of Sweeney Todd (Bootstrap Bill and Norrington)

Be Our Guest (Gibbs)


	18. Scene 17

**Scene 17: On the Endeavor**

_(DAVY JONES enters, looking quite pissed. We see BECKETT and WILL sitting at a table sipping tea.)_

**BECKETT:**

Ah, Jones. I believe you know Mr. Turner.

**DAVY JONES:**

Come to join my crew again, Mr. Turner?

**WILL:**

Dear Davy Jones, you made many, many unhappy people.  
I realize, of course, that it's no shame to be unhappy.  
But it's no great honor either!  
So, I'm here to tell you that Jack Sparrow sends his regards.

If I were a pirate,  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.  
If I were a pirate man.  
Calypso's gonna be released  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
If I were a biddy biddy pirate,  
Yidle-diddle-didle-didle Shipwreck Cove.

I can tell by your reaction you loved her,  
So that's why you cut out your heart.  
In fact you showed the first court how to bind her up.  
So everything you've planned for has just gone to hell,  
And all your plans just fell apart  
I guess that means you can be summoned like a mongrel pup!

If I were a pirate,  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
All day long I'd biddy biddy bum.  
If I were a pirate man  
You're gonna free my father  
Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum.  
And promise Elizabeth's biddy biddy freedom,  
To this Yidle-diddle-didle-didle man.

**BECKETT:**

Your terms are steep, Mr. Turner. We expect fair value in return.

**WILL: **

I will lead you to Shipwreck Cove.

**DAVY JONES:**

And how will ye be doing that, seein' as you're no longer aboard the Black Pearl?

_(WILL whips out the compass.)_

**WILL:**

What is it you want most? _(lifts his teacup)_ To life!

**WILL, DAVY JONES, and BECKETT:**

To life! To life! L'chai-im!  
L'chai-im, l'chai-im, to life!  
If you've been lucky, then Monday was no worse than Sunday  
was,  
Drink l'chai-im, to life.

To life, l'chai-im!  
L'chai-im, l'chai-im, to life!  
One day it's honey and raisin cake,  
Next day a stomach ache,  
Drink L'chai-im, to life!

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Fiddler on the Roof.**_


	19. Scene 18

**Scene 18: Shipwreck Cove**

_(The brethren court have assembled and RAGETTI collects their Pieces of Eight in a bowl. We learn his eye is one of them. Only JACK has not parted with his Piece of Eight.)_

**GIBBS:**

It's not like Sao Feng to be late.

**PINTEL:**

What do you think they'll do to pass the time?

**GIBBS:**

A proud tradition all pirate lords have always done.

**JACK, BARBOSSA, and the PIRATE LORDS:**

We go together like ramma lamma lamma ka dinga da dinga dong  
Remembered forever as shoo-bop sha whada whadda yippidy boom da boom  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop that's the way it should be  
Waooo Yeah

We're one of a kind like dip da dip da dip do whap de dobby do  
Our names are signed boogedy boogedy boogedy boogedy shooby do wap shoo bop  
Chang chang changity chang shoo bop we'll always be like one  
Wa-wa-wa-one

**ELIZABETH:**

Wait! Stop! Sao Feng is dead!

**JACK:**

And made you captain? They're just giving the title away now.

**ELIZABETH:**

Our location has been betrayed. Jones is under the command of Lord Beckett and they're on their way here!

**PIRATE LORDS:**

Who is this betrayer?

**BARBOSSA:**

Not likely one among us.

**ELIZABETH:**

Where is Will?

**JACK:**  
Not among us.

**BARBOSSA:**

It doesn't change the fact we must release Calypso!

**ELIZABETH: **

No! We need to fight!

_(JACK circles around the table.)_

**JACK:**

I don't care to make us a jury  
Release a goddess which hell hath no fury  
Don't mean a thing  
All I care about is a fight  
That's what I'm here for

**PIRATE LORDS:**

That's what he's here for

**JACK:**  
I don't care to wait it out  
Like cuttlefish, we'll have our bouts  
Don't mean a thing  
All I care about is a fight

**PIRATE LORDS:**

All he cares about is a fight

**BARBOSSA:**

Check the Code!

**SRI SUMBHAJEE'S MAN:**

Hang the Code!

_(A shot rings out. EVERYONE turns to see TEAGUE come down with the CODE in hand. He picks up the song where JACK left off)_

**TEAGUE:**  
It's for the King  
To decide this thing  
Softly saying, "Let's go to war"  
Let me see you voting there  
And honest, mister, I'm a millionaire

**JACK:**

I don't care to argue longer  
A Pirate King will make us stronger  
Come on now, vote  
All I care about is a fight

**PIRATE LORDS:**  
All he cares about is a fight!

_(The PIRATE LORDS form a line like the Von Trapp children. Each steps forward when they call their name.)_

**AMMAND:**

Ammand the Corsair!

**CHEVALLE:**

Capitaine Chevalle, the penniless Frenchman!

_(SRI SUMBHAJEE starts to speak but is interrupted by his MAN.)_

**SRI SUMBHAJEE'S MAN:**

Sri Sumbhajee votes for Sri Sumbhajee.

**MISTRESS CHING:**

Mistress Ching!

**JOCARD:**

Gentleman Jocard.

**BARBOSSA:**

Barbossa.

**ELIZABETH:**

Elizabeth Swann.

**VILLANUEVA:**

Villanueva.

**JACK:**

Elizabeth Swann.

_(EVERYONE stops and gasps and angrily storms out, realizing this means they're going to war. ELIZABETH looks very unsure of herself.)_

**JACK:**

Give 'em the old razzle dazzle  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Give 'em act with lots of flash in it  
And the reaction will be passionate  
Give 'em the old hocus pocus  
Bead and feather 'em  
How can they see with sequins in their eyes?  
What if your hinges all are rusting?  
What if, in fact, you're just disgusting ?  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
And they'll never catch wise!

**TEAGUE:**

Ah! Ah! Ah!  
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle

**JACK and TEAGUE:**  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Give 'em a show that's so splendiferous

**JACK:**  
Row after row will grow vociferous

**JACK and TEAGUE:**  
Give 'em the old flim flam flummox  
Fool and fracture 'em

**JACK:**  
How can they hear the truth above the roar?

**JACK and TEAGUE:**  
Throw 'em a fake and a finagle  
They'll never know you're just a bagel,  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
And they'll beg you for more!

**JACK, TEAGUE, and ELIZABETH:**  
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!  
Give 'em the old razzle dazzle  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Back since the days of old Methuselah  
Everyone loves the big bambooz-a-ler  
Give 'em the old three ring circus  
Stun and stagger 'em  
When you're in trouble, go into your dance

**JACK:**

Though you are stiffer than a girder  
They let ya get away with murder

**JACK and TEAGUE:**

Razzle dazzle 'em  
And you've got a romance  
Give 'em the old  
Razzle dazzle  
Razzle dazzle 'em  
Give 'em an act that's unassailable  
They'll wait a year 'til your available!

**JACK, TEAGUE, and ELIZABETH**  
Give 'em the old  
Double whammy  
Daze and dizzy 'em  
Show 'em the first rate sorcerer you are  
Long as you keep 'em way off balance  
How can they spot you got no talents?

**JACK:**  
Razzle dazzle 'em

**TEAGUE:**  
Razzle dazzle 'em

**ELIZABETH:**  
Razzle dazzle 'em

**JACK, TEAGUE, and ELIZABETH:**  
And they'll make you a star!

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Grease **_**or _Chicago. _In fact, it was listening to the soundtrack to _Chicago_, particularly Richard Gere's rendition of "Razzle Dazzle" that inspired this entire story! So...er, thanks, Richard Gere. You haven't really done anything spectacular since _An Officer and a Gentlemen, _but you were a KICKASS Billy Flynn, and for that, I salute you, my silver-haired friend!**


	20. Scene 19

**Scene 19: In the brig of the Black Pearl**

_(TIA DALMA listens to her locket with tears in her eyes. She clamps it close, only to hear the same melody from behind her. DAVY JONES stands on the opposite side of the cell bars.)_

**TIA DALMA:**

Only you, you're the only thing I'll see forever.  
In my eyes, in my words and in ev'rything I do,  
Nothing else but you.  
Ever!

**DAVY JONES:**  
And there's nothing for me but Calypso,  
Ev'ry sight that I see is Calypso

**TIA DALMA:**  
Davy. Davy…

**DAVY JONES:**  
Always you, ev'ry thought I'll ever know

**DAVY JONES and TIA DALMA:**  
Ev'rywhere I go, you'll be, you and me!

All the world is only you and me!  
Tonight, tonight,  
It will start again tonight  
I saw you and the world went away.  
Tonight, tonight,  
There's only you tonight,  
What you are, what you do, what you say.  
Today, all day I had the feeling  
A miracle would happen.  
I know now I was right.  
For here you are,  
And what was just a world is a star  
Tonight!

_(They kiss. In the background, we see JACK, BARBOSSA, ELIZABETH, and the PIRATE LORDS on side of the stage and BECKETT, MERCER, and several SOLDIERS on the other.)_

**JACK, BARBOSSA, ELIZABETH, and PIRATE LORDS:**  
The pirates are gonna have their day  
Tonight.

**BECKETT, MERCER, and SOLDIERS:**  
The Company's gonna have its way  
Tonight.

**JACK, BARBOSSA, ELIZABETH, and PIRATE LORDS:**  
Well, they began it!  
**  
BECKETT, MERCER, and SOLDIERS:**  
Well, they began it!

**JACK, BARBOSSA, ELIZABETH, PIRATE LORDS, BECKETT, MERCER, and SOLDIERS:**  
And we're the ones to stop 'em once and for all,  
Tonight!

**DAVY JONES:**  
Tonight, tonight,  
Won't be just any night,  
Tonight there will be no morning star.  
Tonight, tonight, I'll see my love tonight.  
And for us, stars will stop where they are.

**TIA DALMA:**

Tonight  
I'll kill the brethren court,  
Because I'm a flighty bitch,  
But still the sky is light . . .  
Oh moon, grow bright,  
And make this endless day endless night!

_(EVERYONE sings simultaneously.)_  
**  
BECKETT, MERCER, and SOLDIERS:**  
We're gonna rock it tonight!  
They're gonna get it tonight,  
They began it,  
They began it,  
The began it.  
We'll stop 'em once and for all.  
The Company's gonna have its way,  
The Company's gonna have its day,  
We're gonna rock it tonight.  
Tonight!

**JACK, BARBOSSA, ELIZABETH, and PIRATE LORDS:**  
We're gonna jazz it tonight!  
Tonight!  
They began it,  
And we're the ones to stop 'em once and for all!  
The pirates are gonna have their way,  
The pirates are gonna have their day.  
We're gonna rock it tonight.  
Tonight!  
**  
TIA DALMA:**  
Tonight, tonight,  
Late tonight,  
We're gonna mix it tonight.  
Calypso's gonna have her day,  
Calypso's gonna have her day,  
Davy's gonna have his way  
Tonight, tonight,  
Tonight, this very night,  
We're gonna rock it tonight!

**DAVY JONES:**  
Tonight, tonight,  
I'll see my love tonight.  
And for us, stars will stop where they are.

**DAVY JONES and TIA DALMA:**  
Today the minutes seem like hours.  
The hours go so slowly,  
And still the sky is light.  
Oh moon, grow bright,  
And make this endless day endless night,

**EVERYONE:**  
Tonight!

* * *

**A/N: I do not own _West Side Story. _If you have never heard the song "Tonight Quintet," I HIGHLY recommend you listen to it now so you can get a sense of the drama and, ahem, ambiance of the whole thing. It's an amazing arrangement. I was shocked at just how little I had to change the lyrics to make it work! **


	21. Scene 20

**Scene 20: A lone sandbar**

_(WILL, BECKETT, and DAVY JONES watch as JACK, ELIZABETH, and BARBOSSA walk up to them. DAVY JONES has buckets of waters strapped to his legs.)_

**BARBOSSA:**

Where in the world have you been hiding?

Really, I expected more

I only wish that I could beat you

You led these wolves to our door.

**BECKETT:**

Don't blame Turner for his flaws

Since he is really a tool

If you don't think Jack's behind it

I think you're a fool!

**WILL:**

Pirates of the court, guides and guardians

Grant to me your glory!

Pirates of the court, understand me

My actions were my own!

**ELIZABETH:**

Will you must have been dreaming

Thinking you could save your dad

That cause is lost, trust me

He's stark-raving mad!

**WILL:**

Pirates of the court, guides and guardians

Grant to me your glory!

No cause is lost, please understand me,

If there is one left to fight!

_(ELIZABETH looks from WILL to JACK and understands they both intend for JACK to stab the heart.)_

**BECKETT:**

Masquerade!

Paper faces on parade

Masquerade!

Hide your face so the world will never find you!

Masquerade!

Jack's tricking you, you've all been played

Masquerade!

Jack step up, take what's been denied you.

_(BECKETT throws JACK his compass.)_

**DAVY JONES:**

Slavery's not bad

Just a hundred years

Darkness stirs and wakes everyone's fears

Silently the senses abandon their defenses…

Slowly, gently, night unfurls its splendor

Grasp it, sense it, tremulous and tender

Turn your face away from the garish light of day

Turn your thoughts away from cold, unfeeling light

And listen to the music of the night!

_(EVERYONE adopts a WTF expression and backs away from DAVY JONES. DAVY JONES clams up.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

I propose an exchange. Will leaves with us and you can take Jack.

**WILL:**

Done.

**JACK:**  
Undone.

**BECKETT:**  
Done.

**BARBOSSA:**

Jack is one of the pirate lords! You have no right!

**ELIZABETH:**

King!

_(BARBOSSA goes bat-shit and cuts off JACK'S Piece of Eight. JACK and WILL trade places.)_

**BECKETT:**

Give up this foolish quest

Forfeit your freedom with surrender

Refuse me and you send your allies to their deaths

This is the choice

This is the point of no return!

**ELIZABETH:**

You killed my father.

**BECKETT:**

He chose his own fate.

**ELIZABETH:**

And you have chosen yours. We will fight and you will die.

**BECKETT:**

So be it.

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**The Phantom of the Opera. **_**Everyone's reaction to "Music of the Night" is inspired by several reviews the 2004 film received in that the critics had no idea what the purpose of the song was. I personally find it a very pretty song indeed.**


	22. Scene 21

**Scene 21: on the Flying Dutchman**

_(JACK is in the brig. BECKETT stands above on deck on the Endeavor. JACK and his REPLICAS keep pacing trying to come up with an escape plan. THEY begin singing to the bars.)_

**JACK:**

They call you Lady Luck.  
But there is room for doubt  
At times you have a very unladylike way of running out  
You're this a date with me  
The pickings have been lush  
And yet before this evening is over you might give me the brush  
You might forget your manners  
You might refuse to stay and so the best that I can do is pray.

Luck be a lady tonight  
Luck be a lady tonight  
Luck if you've ever been a lady to begin with  
Luck be a lady tonight.

_(On deck, BECKETT watches the pirate ships prepare for battle.)_

**BECKETT:**

The enemy has opted for oblivion.

_(begins singing)_

Luck let a gentleman see  
How nice a dame you can be  
I've seen the way you've treated other guys you've been with  
Luck be a lady with me.

**JACK,BECKETT, and JACK'S REPLICAS:**

A lady doesn't leave her escort  
It isn't fair, it isn't nice  
A lady doesn't wander all over the room  
And blow on some other guy's dice.  
So let's keep the party polite  
Never get out of my sight  
Stick with me baby, I'm the fellow you came in with  
Luck be a lady  
Luck be a lady  
Luck be a lady tonight.

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Guys and Dolls.**_


	23. Scene 22

**A/N: This chapter contains strong language.**

* * *

**Scene 22: on the Black Pearl**

_(WILL and ELIZABETH enter first, discussing strategy.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

We'll use the Black Pearl as a flagship to lead the attack.

**BARBOSSA:**

Will we now?

_(PINTEL and RAGETTI bring TIA DALMA, bound in ropes, up from the brig.)_

**WILL:**  
Barbossa, you can't release her!

**ELIZABETH:**

We have to give Jack a chance!

**BARBOSSA:**

A King in the court  
May be quite continental,  
But goddesses are a man's best friend.

A King may be grand  
But it won't pay the rental  
On your humble flat  
Or help you at the automat.

Kings grow cold  
As girls grow old,  
And we all lose our charms in the end.

But bad teeth or dread-locked  
These powers will never be fucked.  
Goddesses are a man's best friend.

_(BARBOSSA snags ELIZABETH'S Piece of Eight off her neck and drops it into the bowl.)_

**GIBBS:**

Be there some sort of rite or incantation?

**BARBOSSA:**

Aye. Items to be brought together, done. Items to be burned. Someone must sing to Calypso a song one wouldst sing to a lover.

_(begins singing)_

There's a faraway land  
So the stories all tell  
Somewhere beyond the horizon.  
If we can find it  
Then all will be well,  
Troubles there are few,  
Someday, we'll go to...  
Solla Sollew  
Solla Sollew

_(Nothing happens. PINTEL coughs and steps forward.)_

**PINTEL:**

So long, farewell  
Aufwiedersehn  
Goodnight  
I hate to go and leave this pretty sight

_(Still nothing happens.)_

**RAGETTI:**

Here let me.

_(RAGETTI shyly edges up to TIA DALMA.)_

**RAGETTI:**

Perhaps I had a wicked childhood  
Perhaps I had a miserable youth  
But somewhere in my wicked miserable past  
There must have been a moment of truth  
For here you are standing there loving me  
Whether or not you should  
So somewhere in my youth or childhood  
I must have done something good  
Nothing comes from nothing  
Nothing ever could  
So somewhere in my youth or childhood  
I must have done something good.

_(TIA DALMA seems to swoon as the bowl catches fire. Some serious shit's about to go down.)_

**WILL:**

Tia Dalma! Calypso! When the brethren court first imprisoned you, who was it that told them how? Who was it that betrayed you?

**TIA DALMA:**

Name him!

**WILL:**

His name is Davy Jones,  
And an disturbing man is he.  
He comes home every night in his round-bottomed boat,  
With a net full of herring from the sea.  
It really rattles my bones,  
Even on you I wouldn't wish.  
But he spends so much time in his round-bottomed boat  
That he can't seem to lose the smell of fish.

**WILL and TIA DALMA:**

Then I'll(you'll) kill him so he'll know  
That evry'thin'll be as just as just can be  
A dyin' on his blasted ship on the sea with me  
For I(you) loathe that Davy Jones.  
That young sea-faring,  
Bold and daring,  
Big bewhiskered, overbearing  
Darling Davy Jones.

_(TIA DALMA inflates as if hooked up to an air hose. The ropes snap and she's about fifty feet tall.)_

**BARBOSSA:**

Calypso, I come before you as a servant, humble and contrite. I have fulfilled me vow and now ask your favor. Spare me-self, me ship, me crew, but unleash your fury upon those who dare pretend themselves your masters or mine.

**TIA DALMA:**  
Do, re, mi…

_(TIA DALMA explodes into several crabs who hurl themselves into the sea.)_

**PINTEL:**

Why she's no help at all. What now?

**BARBOSSA:**

Nothing. Our final hope has failed us.

**ELIZABETH:**

It's not over.

**BARBOSSA:**

Revenge won't bring your father back, Miss Swann, and it's not something I'm intending to die for.

_(ELIZABETH stands on the railing of the Black Pearl and holds onto the rigging. The wind has blown her hair loose and she has a fiery look about her.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

When you walk through a storm

Hold your head up high

And don't be afraid of the dark

At the end of the storm is a golden sky

And the sweet silver song of a lark

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

'Tho your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone.

You'll never walk alone.

_(The colors of the ships begin to hoist all around her.)_

**EVERYONE:**

Walk on through the wind

Walk on through the rain

'Tho your dreams be tossed and blown

Walk on, walk on with hope in your heart

And you'll never walk alone

You'll never walk alone!

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**How to Marry a Millionaire, Seussical: the Musical, The Sound of Music, **_**or **_**Carousel.**_


	24. Scene 23

**Scene 23: on the Endeavor**

_(The Endeavor is on one side of the stage, the Black Pearl on the other. The Flying Dutchman is in the middle.)_

**GROVES:**

We have a favorable wind, sir.

_(begins singing)_

You'll be swell! You'll be great!  
Gonna have the whole world on the plate!  
Starting here, starting now,  
honey, everything's coming up roses!

Clear the decks! Clear the tracks!  
You've got nothing to do but relax.  
Blow a kiss. Take a bow.  
Honey, everything's coming up roses!

**BECKETT:**

Now's your inning. Stand the world on its ear!  
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!  
Telling Jones to give no quarter should  
Brighten his day like nothing else could!  
I'll be swell. I'll be great.  
I can tell. Just you wait.

**GROVES and BECKETT:**

That lucky star I talk about is due!  
Honey, everything's coming up roses for me and for you!

_(GROVES semaphores to the Flying Dutchman. Focus shifts to the Flying Dutchman where MERCER and DAVY JONES receive the signal.)_

**MERCER:**

To arms! We give no quarter!

**DAVY JONES:**

_(looks up at the sky and sees the clouds darkening)_ Calypso?

_(Focus changes to the Black Pearl. ELIZABETH, WILL, PINTEL, RAGETTI, GIBBS, COTTON, and MARTY scramble around. Only BARBOSSA looks calm.)_

**PINTEL:**

Have you noticed, on top of everything, it's raining?

**RAGETTI:**

That's a bad sign!

**GIBBS:**

Man the capstan! Keep that powder dry! _(looks out into the audience)_ MAELSTROM!

**ELIZABETH:**  
Barbossa! We need you at the helm!

**BARBOSSA:**  
_(on his way up to the helm)_

When you got it, flaunt it  
Step right up and strut your stuff  
People tell you modesty's a virtue  
But in the battle modesty can hurt you  
When you got it, flaunt it  
Show your assets, let them know you're proud  
Your goodies you must push  
Stick out your chest, shake your tush  
When you got it, shout it out loud  
_(takes helm and guides the Pearl)_

Now Barbossa dance.

_(Does a little jig while commanding the ship)_

When you got it, show it  
Put your hidden treasures on display  
Violinists love to play an E-string  
But audiences really love a G-string  
When you got it, flaunt it!  
Let the whole world hear what you're about  
Clothes may make the man  
All a girl needs is a tan  
When you got it, let it hang out!

_(Focus shifts back to the Flying Dutchman)_

**MERCER:**

Veer out!

**DAVY JONES:**

She'll not harm us! Full bore and into the abyss! _(looks at MERCER'S terrified face)_ Ha! Afraid to get wet? Bow cannons!

_(Focus again returns to the Black Pearl)_

**WILL:**

On our stern and gaining!

**BARBOSSA:**  
More speed! Haul your wind and hold your water! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

**ELIZABETH:**  
Prepare to broadside!

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Gypsy **_**or **_**The Producers.**_


	25. Scene 24

**Scene 24: The Flying Dutchman**

_(JACK sneaks into the cabin where MURTOGG and MULLROY are guarding the chest.)_

**JACK:**

I just came to get my effects…admirable though it may be, why are you here when you could be elsewhere?

**MURTOGG and MULLROY:**

Something familiar,  
Something peculiar,  
Something for everyone:  
A comedy tonight!

Something appealing,  
Something appalling,  
Something for everyone:  
A comedy tonight!

Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns;  
Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!

Old situations,  
New complications,  
Nothing portentous or polite;  
Tragedy tomorrow,  
Comedy tonight!

Something convulsive,  
Something repulsive,  
Something for everyone:  
A comedy tonight!

Something aesthetic,  
Something frenetic,  
Something for everyone:  
A comedy tonight!

Nothing with gods, nothing with fate;  
Weighty affairs will just have to wait!

Nothing that's formal,  
Nothing that's normal,  
No recitations to recite;  
Open up the curtain:  
Comedy Tonight!

Something erratic,  
Something dramatic,  
Something for everyone:  
A comedy tonight!

Frenzy and frolic,  
Strictly symbolic,  
Something for everyone:  
A comedy tonight!

_(During this number, JACK has snuck the chest out from them. HE sneaks out to the main deck where DAVY JONES is strangling MERCER. MERCER makes a gagging noise and then slumps to the deck where JACK eyes the body)_

**JACK:**

That looks like tentacular strangulation! _(DAVY JONES looks right at him)_ Oops.

**DAVY JONES:**

Lookie here, boys! A lost bird, a lost bird that never learned to fly.

**JACK:**

Don't cry for me, Davy Jones

The truth is I can set you free

All through my wild days

My mad existence

I'll keep that promise

Now keep your distance.

_(whacks a rope and flies up to the mast where DAVY JONES emerges)_

**DAVY JONES:**

_(sword drawn)_

Don't cry for me, Captain Sparrow

The truth is I'm gonna kill you

My freedom's forfeit

And I strap on buckets

I'd go on longer

But decided "fuck it"

_(JACK and DAVY JONES begin sword fighting.)_

* * *

**A/N: "Tentacular strangulation" is a phrase from Fedah and Colozamia's posting of the AWE script, which has a lot of fun little phrases that make reading it extra fun. I just loved this particular one too much to not use, but I don't own it. They do. I also do not own **_**A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum **_**or **_**Evita.**_


	26. Scene 25

**Scene 25: on the Black Pearl**

_(Several SOLDIERS and SEA CREATURE CREWMEN swing between the ships. EVERYONE on the Pearl is locked in on a kill-or-be-killed fight except for BARBOSSA who is still at the helm. WILL and ELIZABETH are in the center.)_

**WILL:**  
Elizabeth! Elizabeth, will you marry me?

**ELIZABETH:**

I don't think now's the best time!

**WILL:**

I've got something to say.  
I really loved the skilful way  
You make all these soldiers and sea creatures pay!

The river was deep but I swam it, Liz  
The future is ours so let's plan it, Liz  
So please don't tell me to can it, Liz  
I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Liz, I love you...

The road was long but I ran it, Liz  
There's a fire in my heart and you fan it, Liz  
If there's one fool for you then I am it, Liz  
Now I've one thing to say and that's

Dammit, Liz, I love you...

**ELIZABETH:**

Barbossa! Marry us!

**BARBOSSA:**  
I'm a little busy!

**WILL:**  
Barbossa, now!

**BARBOSSA:**  
Fine! Dearly beloved, we be gathered here today… _(his speech is in the background as WILL and ELIZABETH recite their "vows." They are still sword fighting several goons with the same choreography as in the movie.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

Now we're engaged and I'm so glad, oh Will  
You couldn't meet Mum but you knew Dad, oh Will  
I've one thing to say and that's  
Will I'm mad for you too...  
Oh Will, Oh... dammit!

**WILL:**

I'm mad, Oh Liz!  
For you, I love you too  
There's one thing left to do, and that's

**BARBOSSA:**  
_(Spoken)_ Just hurry up and kiss!

**WILL and ELIZABETH:**

Dammit, Liz (Will), I love you...  
Dammit Liz/Oh Will I'm mad

**WILL:**

Dammit Liz I love you!

_(WILL and ELIZABETH spin around at the same time and come face to face, both their swords blocking the other's. They kiss.)_

* * *

**A/N: Writing this has definitely emphasized for me just how little screen time Will and Elizabeth have with each other, not just in AWE, but in every single movie in the series. Their wedding (to me, in my humble opinion) seems out of place and just reeks of invalidity, but that's this sparrabether's opinion. I'll hop down off my soapbox now. I do not own **_**The Rocky Horror Picture Show.**_


	27. Scene 26

**Scene 26: on the Flying Dutchman**

_(JACK and DAVY JONES are still fighting in the rigging. JACK cuts off DAVY JONES' tentacle that was holding the key to the chest. It falls down to the deck. In a fit of rage, DAVY JONES breaks JACK'S sword with his crab claw. The ship lurches. JACK falls but catches the chest, DAVY JONES catching the other end of it. Giving them both a heave, DAVY JONES hurls JACK up into the air where he catches a rope and shoots the chest out of DAVY JONES' hand.)_

_(WILL swings across and tries to reach the chest. We then hear an ominous organ intro.)_

**BOOTSTRAP:**

He's here, the Bootstrap of the Dutchman!

He's here, the Bootstrap of the Dutchman!

_(tackles WILL)_

In sleep I sang to you

In dreams I came

That voice which calls to you

And speaks your name

And you don't dream again

Yet now you find

The Bootstrap of the Dutchman is here

Inside your mind

**WILL:**

It's me! It's Will! It's your son!

_(JACK drops onto the deck in front of DAVY JONES and pulls his broken sword out on him. JACK runs behind the KRAKEN-summoning wheel. DAVY JONES walks into the center of it, so JACK gives it a good spin. DAVY JONES roars and steadies himself looking for JACK. At this point, ELIZABETH has swung over and stands right in front of DAVY JONES, her sword drawn.)_

**DAVY JONES:**

Bitch! You'll see no mercy from me!

**ELIZABETH:**

Whenever I feel afraid  
I hold my head erect  
And whistle a happy tune  
So no one will suspect  
I'm afraid.  
While shivering in my shoes  
I strike a careless pose  
And whistle a happy tune  
And no one ever knows I'm afraid.

_(ELIZABETH and DAVY JONES start fighting. In an atrocious burst of anticlimactic fighting, DAVY JONES surprisingly takes ELIZABETH out with very little trouble. WILL jumps DAVY JONES and sticks his sword right into him. DAVY JONES throws him off of him and taunts him with his sword.)_

**DAVY JONES:**  
When a man's an empty kettle he should be on his mettle,  
And yet I'm torn apart.  
Just because I'm presumin' that I could be kinda human,  
If I only had heart.  
I'd be tender, I'd be gentle and awful sentimental  
Regarding love and art.  
I'd still kill all the Sparrows... and the boy who shoots the arrows

_(A large picture of Legolas shows up against a scrim)_

If I only had a heart.  
Picture me - a balcony.

Above a voice sings low.  
Wherefore art thou, Romeo?  
I hear a beat....How sweet.  
Just to register emotion, jealousy - devotion,  
And really feel the part.  
I could stay young and stay chipper and I'd lock it with a zipper, If I only had a heart.

**JACK:**  
I've got your heart right here.

_(DAVY JONES, WILL, and ELIZABETH turn to see JACK holding the heart of DAVY JONES in his hand, his broken sword in the other, preparing to stab it.)_

**DAVY JONES:**

You're a cruel man, Jack Sparrow!

**JACK:**  
Cruel is a matter of perspective.

**DAVY JONES:**

Is it now? _(rams his sword right into WILL'S chest, twisting the blade in as JACK and ELIZABETH watch stunned and helpless.)_

**BOOTSTRAP:**  
William. My son? My son! _(also jumps onto DAVY JONES)_

**ELIZABETH:**  
Will? Look at me.

**WILL:**

There was a blacksmith and his wife

And she was beautiful

An incompetent blacksmith and his wife

She was his reason and his life

And she was beautiful

And she was virtuous

And he was…

**DAVY JONES:**

_(also throws BOOTSTRAP off of him)_

You will not forestall my judgment!

_(He suddenly does a dry heave. He moves so we can see that JACK has helped WILL stab the heart.)_

Calypso…

_(begins singing)_

Goodnight, goodnight

Sleep well and when you dream

Dream of me

Tonight.

_(falls into the sea)_

**ELIZABETH:**

Will! No! No! Don't leave me!

**BOOTSTRAP and the SEA CREATURE CREWMEN:**

Under the sea  
Under the sea  
Darlin', it's better down where it's wetter  
Take it from me  
Up on the shore they work all day  
Out in the sun they slave away  
While we devotin' full time to floatin'  
Under the sea

_(Obviously JACK and ELIZABETH won't do very well under the sea so JACK fashions a parachute out of one of the sails and hoists ELIZABETH to safety just as BOOTSTRAP lifts his knife, ready to cut out WILL'S heart. The Flying Dutchman sinks into the maelstrom.)  
_

* * *

**A/N: Okay, I do not own **_**The Phantom of the Opera, The King and I, The Wizard of Oz, Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street, West Side Story, **_**or **_**The Little Mermaid. **_**I have received some questions asking why I do not have Jack sing anything from **_**Sweeney Todd. **_**Simple: it's been done. I also want to clarify something here—I like Will. I do. I only rail on him sometimes because I don't think he's a good match for Elizabeth, so when I call him incompetent in this chapter, I don't mean it. He's actually one of the more competent characters. He's calling himself that because he failed at both his conflicting goals—to be a husband to Elizabeth and rescue his father. He's very hard on himself. **


	28. Scene 27

**Scene 27: on the Black Pearl**

_(JACK and ELIZABETH board the Pearl, relatively unscathed. The Endeavor is in the center of the stage.)_

**GIBBS:**

Jack  
Hello, Jack  
Well, hello Jack  
It's so nice to be back home where you belong  
You're looking swell, Jack

I can tell, Jack  
You're still glowin', you're still crowin'  
You're still goin' strong  
For the band's playin'  
One of my old favorite songs from way back when  
So let's turn tail and run, fella  
Leave the armada in the sun, fella  
Jack, never go away again

**JACK:**

Luff the sails and lay on iron!

_(Focus shifts to the Endeavor)_

**GROVES:**  
What is he waiting for?

**BECKETT:**

He actually expects us to honor our agreement. Nothing personal, Jack…it's just good business.

_(sees the Flying Dutchman surface)_

Ah, she survived.

_(Focus shifts deck of Dutchman, where the SEA CREATURE CREWMEN and BOOTSTRAP are turning back into normal looking humans. At last, we see WILL, decked out in a new shirt and bandana, a large scar down his chest.)_

**WILL:**

Now's your inning. Stand the world on its ear!  
Set it spinning! That'll be just the beginning!  
Curtain up! Light the lights!  
You got nothing to hit but the heights!  
You'll be swell. You'll be great.  
I can tell. Just you wait.  
That lucky star I talk about is due!  
That's right, everything's coming up roses for me and for you!

_(Focus returns to the Black Pearl. EVERYONE on board seems relieved/happy to see WILL.)_

**JACK:**

You can do it; all you need is a hand.  
We can do it, Jack is gonna see to it!  
Curtain up! Light the lights!  
We got nothing to hit but the heights!  
I can tell, wait and see.  
There's the bell! Follow me!

_(Focus returns to the Endeavor)_

**GROVES:**

Orders, sir?

_(BECKETT stands stupidly.)_

**JACK, WILL, BARBOSSA, and ELIZABETH:**

And nothing's gonna stop us 'til we're through!  
Honey, everything's coming up roses and daffodils!  
Everything's coming up sunshine and Santa Claus!  
Everything's gonna be bright lights and lollipops!  
Everything's coming up roses for me and for you!

**GIBBS:**  
Captain?

**JACK:**  
Fire!

**GIBBS:**

Fire!

**WILL:**  
Fire!

**ELIZABETH:**  
Fire all!

_(The Flying Dutchman and the Black Pearl begin blasting the Endeavor to smithereens.)_

_(Focus shifts to the Endeavor. BECKETT takes off his coat and still looks stunned. Off in his own little world, he breaks into song.)_

**BECKETT:**

The minute you walked in the joint,  
I could see you were a man of distinction,  
A real big spender,  
Good looking, so refined.  
Say, wouldn't you like to know  
What's going on in my mind?  
So, let me get right to the point,  
I don't pop my cork for ev'ry guy I see.

_(does a striptease to reveal a pink corset and tights underneath his regular clothes)_

Hey, big spender, spend...  
A little time with...me...me...me!  
Do you wanna have fun?  
How's about (fun) a few laughs?  
I can show you a...good time...  
Do you wanna have fun...fun...fun?  
How's about (fun) a few (fun) laughs (fun)  
Laughs (fun) laughs  
(I can show you a...)  
(fun) laughs (fun) laughs  
(good time)  
Fun, laughs (good time)  
Fun, laughs (good time)  
Fun, laughs (good time)...shhh...  
What did you say you are?  
How's about a ...(laugh)  
I could give you some...  
Are you ready for...(fun)  
How would you like a...  
Let me show you a ...(good time)  
Hey, big spender...  
Hey, big spender...

**GROVES:**  
He's gone mad! Abandon ship!

_(GROVES alone survives the cataclysmic explosion that hurls BECKETT'S body right into an East India Trading Company flag.)_

_(Focus shifts to the Flying Dutchman. WILL stands off to himself.)_

**BOOTSTRAP:**

Orders, sir?

**WILL:**  
You're no longer bound to the Dutchman. You're free.

**BOOTSTRAP:**

Aye, that's a fine thing, but by my reckoning, I still have a debt that has to be paid, if you'll have me. One day ashore, ten years at sea.

**WILL:**  
On the wheel then, Mr. Turner.

**BOOTSTRAP:**

We sail the ocean blue,  
And our saucy ship's a beauty;  
We're sober men and true,  
And attentive to our duty.

**BOOTSTRAP and CHORUS:**  
When the balls whistle free  
O'er the bright blue sea,  
We stand to our guns all day;  
When at anchor we ride  
On the Portsmouth tide,  
We have plenty of time for play.  
Ahoy! Ahoy!  
The balls whistle free  
Ahoy! Ahoy!  
Over the bright blue sea,  
We stand to our guns, to our guns all day.

**WILL:**

We sail the ocean blue,  
And our saucy ship's a beauty;  
We're sober men and true,  
And attentive to our duty.

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Hello Dolly, Gypsy, Sweet Charity, **_**or **_**The HMS Pinafore. **_**I'm going to gush here and just point out that when Jack murmurs "fire" here, it is just about his sexiest moment ever. I love dangerous Jack. Someday I will do a Top Ten, or Eleven, or his hottest moments, but here, when he's truly in his element and things are for once going his way…thud. **


	29. Scene 28

**Scene 28: on the deck of the Black Pearl**

_(ELIZABETH is getting ready to leave. She sees a longboat pulled up just for her.)_

**GIBBS:**

Your chariot awaits, your highness. The oars are inside.

_(GIBBS chokes up as his musical intro starts.)_

Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
Do I really see what's in her mind  
Each time I think I'm close to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time

**BARBOSSA:**

I let precious time go by  
Then when she's gone  
There's that odd melancholy feeling  
And a sense of guilt  
I can't deny  
What happened to the wonderful adventures  
The places I had planned for us to go  
Well some of that we did  
But most we didn't  
And why I just don't know

**PINTEL and RAGETTI:**

Slipping through my fingers all the time  
I try to capture every minute  
The feeling in it  
Slipping through my fingers all the time  
Do I really see what's in her mind  
Each time I think I'm close to knowing  
She keeps on growing  
Slipping through my fingers all the time

_(ELIZABETH pauses when she reaches JACK.)_

**ELIZABETH:**

One day you find out  
This is what life is all about,  
You need someone who  
Is living just for you.  
One boy,  
One steady boy,  
One boy to be with,  
Forever,  
And ever,  
One boy,  
That's the way it should be...  
That's the way it should be.

**JACK:**

If I loved you,  
Time and again I would try to say  
All I'd want you to know.  
If I loved you,  
Words wouldn't come in an easy way  
Round in circles I'd go!  
Longing to tell you,  
But afraid and shy,  
I'd let my golden chances pass me by!  
Soon you'd leave me,  
Off you would go in the mist of day,  
Never, never to know how I loved you  
If I loved you

**JACK and ELIZABETH:**

Do I love you because you're beautiful,  
or are you beautiful because I love you?  
Am I making believe I see in you a girl(man) too lovely(perfect) to be really true?  
Do I want you because you're wonderful,  
or are you wonderful because I want you?  
Are you the sweet invention of a lover's dream  
or are you really as beautiful as you seem?

_(THEY give each other a wink before she goes, leaving their goodbye just as temporary and open-ended as the movie's.)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Mamma Mia, Bye Bye Birdie, Carousel, **_**or **_**Cinderella. **_**Sigh. Do you know how long it took me to be able to squeeze in something from **_**Cinderella? **_**28 scenes! This was by far the easiest chapter to write.**


	30. Scene 29

**Scene 29: on some beach**

_(WILL and ELIZABETH'S swords lay in the sand intertwined. WILL laces up his boot. ELIZABETH is wearing the other one. She has also managed to mysteriously change into an unflattering black negligee of some sort.)_

**WILL:**

It's almost sunset. Please guard the chest.

**ELIZABETH:**  
I will.

**WILL and ELIZABETH:**

So long, farewell

Auf wiedersehn

Goodbye…

_(WILL and ELIZABETH begin to sing simultaneously.)_

**WILL:  
**Climb every mountain  
Search high and low  
Follow every byway  
Every path you know

Climb every mountain  
Ford every stream  
Follow every rainbow  
Till you find your dream

A dream that will need  
All the love you can give  
Every day of your life  
For as long as you live

Climb every mountain  
Ford every stream  
Follow every rainbow  
Till you find your dream

**ELIZABETH:**

How do you solve a problem like Elizabeth?  
How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?  
How do you find a word that means Elizabeth?  
A flibberti gibbet!  
A willofthewisp! (Hey, that's the author's name!)  
A clown!  
Many a thing you know you'd like to tell her,  
Many a thing she ought to understand.  
But how do you make her stay,  
And listen to all you say?  
How do you keep a wave upon the sand?  
Oh, how do you solve a problem like Elizabeth?  
How do you hold a moonbeam in your hand?

_(WILL turns to go, but ELIZABETH catches him at the last second and they embrace.)_

**WILL and ELIZABETH:**  
So long, farewell

Aufwiedersehn

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye

Goodbye…..

Goodbye

_(WILL disappears and ELIZABETH is left alone on the beach, gazing out at the sea.)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**The Sound of Music. **_**While not a willabether, this and the previous scene are just heart wrenching for me to watch, for different reasons and I wanted to capture some of that bittersweet feeling they both invoke. No matter how intense the shipping wars get, I think we are all agreed that T&T didn't really give anyone what they wanted. Two scenes left to go! **


	31. Scene 30

**Scene 30: Tortuga**

_(JACK walks down a pier with SCARLETT and GISELLE on either side.)_

**GISELLE:**

Is that it?

**SCARLETT:**

The Black Pearl?

**GISELLE:**  
It's not very big.

**JACK:**

That is a dinghy. My vessel is magnificent and fierce and huge-ish and…gone…why is it gone?

**GISELLE:**

Is that it out there?

**JACK:**  
Yes! There it is. _(has a "wait a second" reaction)_ Why is it there?

**SCARLETT:**  
Jack, you said we could have a ride! I hate that Black Pearl!

_(GISELLE and SCARLETT begin a lament. Feel free to interpret it any way you wish…)_

**SCARLETT:**

Why should a fellow want a girl like her a frail and fluffy beauty

Why can't a fellow ever once prefer a solid girl like me

**GISELLE:**  
She's a frothy little bubble with a flimsy kind of charm and with very little trouble  
I could break her little arm.

**SCARLETT:**  
Oh, oh why would a fellow want a girl like her so obviously unusual  
why can't a fellow ever once prefer a usual girl like me

**GISELLE:**  
Her cheeks are a pretty shade of pink, but not any pinker than roses

**SCARLETT:**  
Her skin may be delicate and soft,  
but not any softer than a doe's is  
**  
GISELLE:**  
Her neck is no whiter than a swan's

**SCARLETT:**  
She's only as dainty as a daisy

**GISELLE:**  
She's only as graceful as a bird!

**GISELLE and SCARLETT:**  
So why is the fellow going crazy?  
oh why would a fellow want a girl like her,  
a girl who's merely lovely,  
why can't a fellow ever once prefer a girl who's merely me

_(During this time, JACK has woken GIBBS by pouring some rum on him. GIBBS coughs and stands up, his teddy bear still in his arms.)_

**JACK:**  
Mr. Gibbs, any particular reason why my ship is gone?

**GIBBS:**  
Ship? We're on the ship…Jack! The ship is gone!

**JACK:**  
Really? _(turns to SCARLETT and GISELLE and begins singing)_

The day is young, the skies are clear  
So if you want to get the hell out, dear,  
You're degrading, you're despicable, you're demented.  
I understand the reason why  
you're done pretending, 'cause so am I,  
You're degrading, you're despicable, you're demented.  
I've never met Pizarro  
And this threesome's gotten quite bizarro  
You can hear dear Mother Nature  
Murmuring low,  
"Let yourself go!"  
So please be sweet, my chickadee,  
And when I dump you, say to me,  
"I'm degrading, I'm despicable, I'm demented.  
I'm depraved, I'm desensitizing  
I'm demanding, destitute, depriving  
And demented!"

_(Of course SCARLETT and GISELLE give him a good smack across the face. JACK looks at GIBBS. They share a knowing smile. They start doing a dance with canes.)_

**JACK and GIBBS:**

Gibbs and Jack  
Up off our backs  
Back on the Great White Way!  
Gibbs and Jack  
Back on our tracks  
We're back on top to stay!  
So when we take what we can, never fear  
We give nothing back, that's what you'll hear

The wing is great  
The sunlight swell  
But so you know, don't make a fuss  
It's just a no-go without us!

_(JACK and GIBBS cut the song off early as GIBBS runs after SCARLETT and GISELLE. JACK looks out to sea.)_

_(The lights change and we see the Black Pearl behind a scrim with BARBOSSA, PINTEL, and RAGETTI aboard.)_

**PINTEL:**

Sir, some of the men don't feel entirely settled about leaving Captain Jack behind…

**RAGETTI:**

Again.

**PINTEL:**

Again. It would make us feel a whole lot better concerning our fortunes if we could see that item you mentioned on the charts.

**RAGETTI:**  
To ease our guilt, so to speak.

**BARBOSSA:**

_(unrolls the charts)_ Gentlemen, I give you…_(sees a hole has been cut out of the map. The audience does not know what they were going to go after)_ Sparrow!

_(Focus returns to JACK. He has rigged up the dinghy and has the missing part of the map. He starts to hum to himself and uncorks a bottle of rum.)_

**JACK:**

I know what I am thinking tonight,  
As home through the shadows I wander.  
Ev'ryone smiling in secret delight,  
They stare at the dinghy and ponder.  
Whenever the wind blows this way,  
You can almost hear me say:

I wonder what the King is doing tonight?  
What merriment is the King pursuing tonight?  
The candles at the court, they never burned as bright.  
I wonder what the King is up to tonight?  
How goes the final hour  
As she sees her kingly power  
Being regally and legally made?  
Well, I'll tell you what the King is doing tonight:  
She's gonna get laid…

_(Sails off into the sunset)_

* * *

**A/N: I do not own **_**Cinderella, Anything Goes, The Producers, **_**or **_**Camelot.**_


	32. Finale

**Bonus Scene: on a cliff side that could be England, the Caribbean, Hawaii, or somewhere in the Pacific depending on who you ask.**

_(The words "ten years later" appear as ELIZABETH and her SON wait near the cliff. He is wearing a pirate hat and coat. ELIZABETH pulls him close to her as they stare into the horizon. The Flying Dutchman can be seen in the distance.)_

**CAST:**  
Till we find our place

In the path unwinding

In the Circle

The Circle of Life

Circle of Life!

_(EVERYONE takes a final bow as the curtain falls.)_

END

**

* * *

**

**A/N: Special thanks to the "All Musicals" website for providing me with the lyrics to just about every song I used. Special thanks to Fedah and Colozamia for posting the script to AWE online for my viewing pleasure. I have referenced it many times. I do not own POTC and I do not own the following musicals: _The Lion King, Bye Bye Birdie, Camelot, Cabaret, Les Miserables, The Phantom of the Opera, Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street, Flower Drum Song, Wicked, Kiss Me Kate, Jesus Christ: Superstar, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, A Chorus Line, The Producers, Grease, Damn Yankees, Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, Evita, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Peter Pan, Chicago, The Pirates of Penzance, The Sound of Music, High School Musical, West Side Story, Beauty and the Beast, Fiddler on the Roof, Guys and Dolls, How to Marry a Millionaire, Carousel, Seussical: the Musical, Mamma Mia, Gypsy, Anything Goes, Hello Dolly, The Little Mermaid, The King and I, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, _OR _The Wizard of Oz. _Please leave a review!**

**Songs in Act 2**

**If I Were a Rich Man (Will)**

**To Life (Will, Beckett, and Davy Jones)**

**We Go Together (Jack, Barbossa, and Chorus)**

**All I Care About (Jack, Teague, and Chorus)**

**Razzle Dazzle (Jack, Teague, and Elizabeth)**

**Tonight Duet (Davy Jones and Tia Dalma)**

**Tonight Quintet (Quartet here)(Cast)**

**Angel of Music (Barbossa, Beckett, Will, and Elizabeth)**

**Masquerade (Beckett)**

**Music of the Night (Davy Jones)**

**Down Once More (Beckett)**

**Luck Be a Lady (Jack and Beckett)**

**Diamonds are a Girl's Best Friend (Barbossa)**

**Solla Sollew (Barbossa)**

**So Long, Farewell (Pintel)**

**Something Good (Ragetti)**

**Mister Snow (Will and Tia Dalma)**

**Do Re Mi (Tia Dalma)**

**You'll Never Walk Alone (Elizabeth and Cast)**

**Everything's Coming Up Roses (Groves and Beckett)**

**When You Got It, Flaunt It (Barbossa)**

**Comedy Tonight (Murtogg and Mullroy)**

**Don't Cry For Me, Argentina (Jack and Davy Jones)**

**Damn It, Janet (Will and Elizabeth)**

**The Phantom of the Opera (again)(Bootstrap Bill)**

**Whistle a Happy Tune (Elizabeth)**

**If I Only Had a Heart (Davy Jones)**

**Final Sequence of Sweeney Todd (again)(Will)**

**Tonight (again)(Davy Jones)**

**Under the Sea (Bootstrap Bill and Chorus)**

**Hello Dolly (Gibbs)**

**Everything's Coming Up Roses (again)(Will, Jack, Barbossa, and Elizabeth)**

**Big Spender (Beckett)**

**We Sail the Ocean Blue (Bootstrap Bill, Will, and Chorus)**

**Slipping Through My Fingers (Gibbs, Barbossa, Pintel, and Ragetti)**

**One Boy (again)(Elizabeth)**

**If I Loved You (Jack)**

**Do I Love You Because You're Beautiful (Jack and Elizabeth)**

**So Long, Farewell (again)(Will and Elizabeth)**

**Climb Every Mountain (Will)**

**How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria (again)(Elizabeth)**

**The Stepsisters' Lament (Scarlett and Giselle)**

**De-Lovely (Jack)**

**Prisoners of Love/Producer's Finale (Jack and Gibbs)**

**I Wonder What the King is Doing Tonight (Jack)**

**The Circle of Life (Cast)**


End file.
